2012: Imagine President Cain

You don't even want to try

It's true that in a newspaper column limning Christ as the "perfect conservative" (He came up with all those loaves and fishes without any help from an oppressive central government), Herman Cain claimed that a "liberal court" killed Jesus (ThinkProgress.org). But, honestly, how can that hurt him? It only underscores how thoroughly he belongs in the pack of fact-phobic, anti-science, climate change-denying, Bible-thumping, creationist Republican presidential postulants.

Now the front-runner, Cain may be just self-infatuated enough to sit comfortably for four years as one of our serial royals. Take, for example, this passage from his optimistically titled This Is Herman Cain! My Journey to the White House (talk about your audacity of hope):
I was sitting in my new office on the 31st floor of the World Headquarters one day when I looked out the window and saw that the inflatable dome of the new Minneapolis stadium had collapsed. I realized, as I sat there, staring out the window, that what had kept me happy and motivated was the excitement, challenge, and risk of the past few years.
While there is no daylight between him and the other GOP nullities on policy, he has shot to a lead in the polls because he comes across, despite significant barriers of logic and language, as nicer and funnier than his cohort. What other candidate of either party is capable of this?:
Herm Cain is our Jimmie Davis, our Michel Martelly. This is better than Bill Clinton Plays the Blues, better than if John McCain, Orrin Hatch and John Ashcroft started a band (and you know you want to hear them harmonize For What It's Worth).

Next up: Herman Cain's rendition of Revolution No 9-9-9.

For the video complete with the Godfather Singers & Dancers, see Herman Cain channels John Lennon by Dan Case (Dan Casey's Blog/Roanoke Times 2011-10-12)
And before we get too carried away: Herman Cain: ‘I’m Very Proud Of The Relationship That I Have With The Koch Brothers’ by Alex Seitz-Wald (Think Progress 2011-10-18)

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